The Tradition of Child Pallbearers
by Sue
A curious idea caught my eye as I started to read about the historical and cultural aspects of death and mourning, and it was the idea of children carrying the casket of their departed classmates or friends.
My young brother was at a boarding school in Hertfordshire for children with learning difficulties. At that school, my brother had made quite a lot of friends and sadly one of his closest friends, Micky, fell ill and died. It was a shock to everyone who knew this boy including my brother. Mickey’s parents knew that my brother was a very good friend of their son and wanted him to be a participant at the funeral. My brother was about nine years old at the time and would have the honour of acting as one of the pallbearers, carrying the coffin, dressed in black along with some other boys.
It was an honour to be named a pallbearer, and his friend's parents chose my brother and he agreed. Historically a refusal of this honour was rare, and only tolerated “for the most imperative reasons” but my brother was happy to help.
The tradition speaks to the very intimate nature that children have with death. It is deadly to be a child. This stems from the historically perilous act of being born – something that has often led to the death of both baby and mother. Childhood too, with all of its presumed innocence and unadulterated joy, is a vulnerable state and still persists as something to be survived.
But the promises of God are to be rejoiced in. Look what Jesus said about children:
Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish. (Matthew 18:14)
But Jesus called them to Him and said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.” (Luke 18:16)
And to all those who put their trust in Jesus as their Saviour…
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. (Revelation 21:4)